You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
