So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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