when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
