If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
