I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
