Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
