Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I have already put on my inside pants.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
