So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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