Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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