i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
