That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
