epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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