whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
