I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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