some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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