if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
