; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
