he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
only you would photoshop your dick
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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