I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
