nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My liver just had a heart attack.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
