And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Watching her eat just hurts me
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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