He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
