Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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