Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
