My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
