Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
