Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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