How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
