if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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