i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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