so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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