Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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