her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
