you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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