i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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