she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I love you.
Bad choice
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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