It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you didnt know i had herpes?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
