On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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