omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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