The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
