She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
