just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
