Tell her she can't have a vagina
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
