would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
