There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
