Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
