I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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