Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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