Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
