Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
