if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
