please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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